Apartment Math

So I've discovered the secret math of my apartment...

as TIME approaches MIDNIGHT, TEMPERATURE approaches INFINITY.

My apartment is the hottest place on earth.

Moving Time

Well, I'm rolling into day 3 of moving into my apartment. Day 1 was signing the lease and moving clothes and electronics in. Day 1 was accomplished by me with a single car load. Day 2 was moving everything else. It was accomplished with a U-haul and three good friends who were willing to sweat it out as much as I was. Which was a lot. It was a 14' filled with many large and heavy thing. Success for day 2 was getting everything to my 3rd floor apartment. Oh yeah, and getting my cat moved in! So now, I'm wading though the sea of boxes and furniture, day 3... where do I want to put all this stuff?

It's amazing how much can change in a year...

It is actually stunning how much can change within just a few moments. I used to think of the primary force in life as being momentum: I looked at life as a train. You pick your track and get your engine up to speed, then you try to maintain your momentum while accepting the turns and enjoying the ride. I believed strongly in the notion of continuity. Now, I actually understand what Forrest Gump meant when he said life was like a box of chocolates. There is no logic as to what flavor you get. There is no progression. Nobody likes them all, but some of the surprises are very sweet.

Not too long ago, I was flying down the road, screaming 'life sucks' out the window. One year ago, I had the best date of my life (so far). Today, good news: I am getting hired to write software. It is by far the best job I have ever had the pleasure of accepting. It is a testament to the real presence of grace in my life, and a testament to the value of a great friend. I would have never even found this opportunity without my good buddy Lex, and without his support I am sure that I wouldn't have been given a chance either.

So, I guess life is not like a train, because every minute there is chance that your context could change. You could find yourself hopeless in a moment, or you could find the best things. So yeah, life is like a box of chocolates. Not because you never know what you are going to get, but rather because, while nobody likes all of it, it is generally considered a good thing. And it is much better shared with friends.

Hooray!

I've just recieved news - I've got a new job and I'm moving to the city!!!

Moon

A photo of the Moon taken by Ashley Wertz. I don't think I am alone in loving the Moon. The Moon only ever shows us half of what it is, though that is probably more than we can really know. Seen here through the local nebula:

 In honor of the Moon, and only seeming to be as you wish to be seen.

Planning 101: There is no plan

Just impulse bought some tickets for a Clean Bandit concert in Philly... guess I'm going to Philly now!

Restless

I'm standing restless, filling in a year from now
with my hopes and somehow knowing it'll be better.
I'm trying to forge new meanings from old words,
looking darkly through the glass;
it's hard to tell how full, without a lamp.
I've got another 17 hours until my thoughts
come back to me, to find me waiting in the light,
ready but unable, willing to jump but hesitant to roll
over and out of bed. I'll take a walk because I'm restless.
All this time I've been planting a garden on futile soil.
What's the point to growing crops of rotted tubers and twisted squash?
The almanac says to fertilize with time, but what a price to pay:
I'd rather bury a talent than spend a year.
I guess it's hard to invest when you're restless.

Yak Riding

I went on kayak trip with a friend to the Quemahoning. Getting in was a little bit of a challenge though. The place we decided to launch looked nice, but was a little wet when we were walking out. As we got close to the lake, we began to sink, Indiana Jones in quicksand style, until the mud was half way up to our knees. I know how a dinosaur in a tar pit feels: I was worried that if I fell over, I might die in that mud! Several lost shoes and close calls later we launched the kayaks. It was a beautiful day and we found a different place to disembark.

Phone Interview

I had a phone interview today, seemed to go really well. Now, for a spot more of waiting. Eventually one of these things are going to work out!

Served

Well, I got the first round of papers today. No fault divorce: could be an all fault divorce. Errr.... halfway between really profound emptiness and sadness. Either way, I think its good. Up from here.

Small Amounts of Good News

Some good news, in the form of two birds in the bush has come my way: one of the jobs I interviewed for has been calling my references and another sent me an additional information request. Even these small things feel good, and it is not hard to imagine that I will be fulltime employed in the near future. Too bad it's the weekend: I'm guaranteed to hear nothing until Monday at the soonest, and that is probably still much sooner than it will actually take. Still, I can hope for Monday.

Love

There was a gun in my heart
looking out for someone to love,
and when I saw her it fired,
made an exit wound, and I
wounded her too.
I wanted to have someone
to hurt together with, and someone
to heal together with, so I pulled
her in and our clots and scabs clung
until our flesh knitted, and then we lived
heart to heart, each beat felt two ways.
But she fired her heart point blank,
and now everything is an exit wound.

...

Living life with a banjo and a lazer gun,
just hanging out and having fun.
I shoot to kill, but don't hurt anyone,
because I set my phaser to stun.

Finding Something Lost!

It is always to so nice to find something that you didn't even remember you were looking for: today Pandora sent Satellite by Guster to me.  I had forgotten almost everything about this song, but a vague image of the album cover and the notion that I really liked it. I searched on google images to try to track it down months ago, but then even forgot that I had tried that... then...

'Your my Satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite'

...Small victories.

Looking Farther Afield

Clothes all washed, weekend done: I'm hoping to start hearing back from some of the seeds I have sown over the past week. I've got a couple applications in with current employee references attached, and I'm broadening my search, so this might be a week of success. If not, I could sign up for the military - enter as an officer and see the world - seems more tempting each day. Might have to swing by the recruiter later this week, especially if the interviews don't come rolling in.

Philosophical Help Line

This is part of an actual call recorded by the A&Q division of the Philosophical Help Line call center. The names have been removed to protect the identities of the parties involved.

Q: Thank you for calling Philosophical Help Line, where every answer has a question, is there anything you would like us to question today?

A: Hi there. I was pondering this: Suppose that someone only lived for one day; half of their life would be light, and the other half would be dark.

Q: Isn't it that way already?

A: But we sleep during the night.

Q: Why wouldn't they just sleep  during the night too?

A: Because that would be half of their already short life.

Q: Isn't it that way already?

A: ...yeah.....okay....thanks. (click)
[Dial tone]

Just another call, helping people at the Philosophical Help Line call center.

Sing...

...suddenly I am all about this song: Sing by Ed Sheeran. Making a new Pandora station right now... or maybe after I listen to it one more time...

Jobbing Day

I've had another round of sowing seeds today - applications out, testings scheduled... now comes the waiting.  Hopefully interviews will follow.

I took a personality type test today... it was based off of the 16 personality types... said I was a ENTP.  Basically what that means is that I will infuriate everyone I meet by being incredibly logical (but not very sensitive) and loving to argue.  Not sure if that is 100% me, but close enough.  My prefered careers listed included dictator, spy, and assassin... errgh... time to put in three more applications.

A Little Adventure

Today I tried to get close to a windmill by driving around.  I got pretty close, but the picture doesn't do it justice.  As a bonus, finding the windmill led me to a cool, old railroad bridge.

I just got back from vacation in WV.
These are just a few of the pictures I took there:

No Masters

I'm a man with a sword serving two masters.
My skill is complete. My talent is reckless.
I won't move for honor. I won't move for gold.
My heart is on fire, my brain is exploded.

I am a solider for love and a warrior for truth:
Truth is the force the makes me go rabid.
Truth is the madness that pulls me to battle.
Truth shows me how the world is warring.
Truth is my effort, my duty is Love.
An echo that voices me farther, Love.
The effort that goes on forever, Love.
Wakes me up in the morning,Love.
Shakes me up in the evening, Love.
Truth makes me fight and I know it for Love.
Truth makes me wrong and I show it for Love.
I try Love,
but Truth makes me blow it.

I'm a man with a sword serving two masters:
Truth makes me draw it. I drop it for Love.
Truth makes me draw it and I drop it, Love.
Truth makes me draw it. I drop it for Love.

i am leaving my sword now i have no sword
no sword
no masters

Tilt

Don Quixote might have jousted with giants,
but for me windmills are not enough.
I want to tilt like a pro, like Joe, not fighting a fish,
but the power behind. I want to line up to fight
with the breaker of hips, and touch hot coals to my lips,
to burn the pride and the shame, but leave
the anger and blame. Burn the lips, but leave
the teeth. I'm buying boxing gloves,
so I can take them off: I never held back, but I never had fire.
Now I'm on fire, burning and being burned.
I guess I had to learn before I could fight,
now I have to fight before I can learn.

Someone said to me 'You can't fight God'
but I call bullshit - just because you can't win
doesn't mean you can't get your punches in
and I want to make a few connect:
not to sting the face but the feel the weight of my swing
and feel like I can move a thing. And its not enough
to move the moon, to move the earth, I need
to fight something bigger so that when I swing
I move myself.
Windmills and giants are not enough.

Delta

You left me and the grass
is not the same green anymore.
Now I like the Blues;
I can feel the Blues.
You left me and the grass
is not the same green anymore.
The grass is greener, and
I miss the way you muted the grass.

No wife, no job, new place

The start... again. This is just going to be a place for me to post my poetry, but if anyone wants to read it: cool.