Lunacy

You are the energy un-solar,
more reflective than radiant,
directed not to sustenance but
to mastery of mystery and form.
Like water from light you flow,
not the shortest path but the
surest.  To me you are more
of a ripple than a drop.
Calling up images of masks
and transformations,
you move as a force through
space factual and musical.
Your optimism is inspirational
and paired with your brain:
sensational. You're a spice,
uncharted yet bounded. A kite,
flying but grounded.
You terrify me
because all I want to do is see you.
I'm a mouse before the moon,
but in that moment, I feel planetary.

A parking lot poem

The last time I saw you it was in hot, forced breaths.
Each out easy and empty, but the ins, impossible
through a frown so deep it made me queasy.
Every huff a ritual to soothe my gut
to keep the bile from rising in my throat,
and then another in, short to keep my face
from twitching, knowing that it would only erode
my determination not to cry.
It was only weeks before that I had figured out
there were parallel worlds:
one where we were happy together,
and another where we had never met.
I was from the later,
but could see and feel them both.
And yet, there you stood in the dark parking lot,
a ghost from an outside universe
bearing the scars of a ghastly end.
You had flown in from some terrible reality
where nothing is eternal, and love dies.
'What happened?'
But there is no answer, just the pain I felt and saw in you.
And even with you in front of me as my mirror,
I fought to hold back the truth, to keep myself
from realizing that there is just
this one universe, and we
haunt each other.

Apartment Math

So I've discovered the secret math of my apartment...

as TIME approaches MIDNIGHT, TEMPERATURE approaches INFINITY.

My apartment is the hottest place on earth.

Moving Time

Well, I'm rolling into day 3 of moving into my apartment. Day 1 was signing the lease and moving clothes and electronics in. Day 1 was accomplished by me with a single car load. Day 2 was moving everything else. It was accomplished with a U-haul and three good friends who were willing to sweat it out as much as I was. Which was a lot. It was a 14' filled with many large and heavy thing. Success for day 2 was getting everything to my 3rd floor apartment. Oh yeah, and getting my cat moved in! So now, I'm wading though the sea of boxes and furniture, day 3... where do I want to put all this stuff?

It's amazing how much can change in a year...

It is actually stunning how much can change within just a few moments. I used to think of the primary force in life as being momentum: I looked at life as a train. You pick your track and get your engine up to speed, then you try to maintain your momentum while accepting the turns and enjoying the ride. I believed strongly in the notion of continuity. Now, I actually understand what Forrest Gump meant when he said life was like a box of chocolates. There is no logic as to what flavor you get. There is no progression. Nobody likes them all, but some of the surprises are very sweet.

Not too long ago, I was flying down the road, screaming 'life sucks' out the window. One year ago, I had the best date of my life (so far). Today, good news: I am getting hired to write software. It is by far the best job I have ever had the pleasure of accepting. It is a testament to the real presence of grace in my life, and a testament to the value of a great friend. I would have never even found this opportunity without my good buddy Lex, and without his support I am sure that I wouldn't have been given a chance either.

So, I guess life is not like a train, because every minute there is chance that your context could change. You could find yourself hopeless in a moment, or you could find the best things. So yeah, life is like a box of chocolates. Not because you never know what you are going to get, but rather because, while nobody likes all of it, it is generally considered a good thing. And it is much better shared with friends.

Hooray!

I've just recieved news - I've got a new job and I'm moving to the city!!!

Moon

A photo of the Moon taken by Ashley Wertz. I don't think I am alone in loving the Moon. The Moon only ever shows us half of what it is, though that is probably more than we can really know. Seen here through the local nebula:

 In honor of the Moon, and only seeming to be as you wish to be seen.